Where Do I Go from Here?
Today was not the Valentine's Day I had envisioned. We didn't have the money to go anywhere special so we just went to Red Lobster with the gift certificate that we got from Travis and Amy for Christmas. It was okay, really. Alyssa went with us.
When we got home I got on the computer to check out my new Oprah journal. I wrote a little while. Doug says I'm hooked! I never thought I'd get hooked on a stupid computer (really I'M the one who is stupid!). Anyway, I used to keep written journals for years off and on so let's see if this is the dawning of a new day.....
I really want to be free to be ME! I'm tired of trying to please other people, tired of being hurt if they misunderstand me, strongly disagree with me or criticize me! As Popeye once said "I Yam who I Yam and that's all that I Yam!" We are all created different and we all need to applaud, admire and embrace our differences! (That's a Joyce idea).
Doug promised he would make it up to me and I believe he will! Isn't is funny how two people in love think that no one loves like they do! We are all a little arrogant at times.....
My relationship with Alyssa is growing again. We are talking more, trusting each other a little more and liking each other better! I thank God that when you are in the valley of despair, he sends you a little h-o-p-e!
posted by Joyce @ 11:17 PM
2 Comments:
Well, I've never journaled before, but somehow it just seems easier on a blog site. I guess that's because people respond to your site and it makes you feel like your still a part of their lives even when your separated by long distances.
It's great that you and Alyssa are communicating more. I think that a good relationship with your daughter (or me with my daughters) is one of God's biggest blessings.
I think I'm getting the hang of it, Amy.....not the communicating with a strong willed teenage daughter but the communicating with a blog!
I don't feel like a part of your lives....I'm just being honest here. I feel like a stranger or a distant relative. For a while a year or so ago, I felt close to you. As I said in my E-mail, maybe we can begin to get to know each other and appreciate each others strengths and differences. Maybe we can even help each other....I know I need help with Alyssa!
For instance, I 've stopped nagging her to clean her room and bathroom. It's been almost two weeks. Until today her room and bathroom were piled high with clothes and stuff! We had company on Sunday and she had one hour to clean the bathroom--just the bathroom.
I don't know what she did but the bathroom was not up to "company" standards. She hasn't dusted or cleaned her furniture in months. The vacuum cleaner has been sitting in her room for a week. I haven't even looked in her closet--I'm afraid to! I'm not talking perfection here!
I'm not even saying much about the room but when company has to use the bathroom......I could go on but you get the picture!
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