No Small Thing

Doug and Alyssa and I (and some of Alyssa's friends) have been going to our church on Tuesday nights for our small groups. Our groups are divided into married women, married men, teen girls, teen boys, single women, etc. We have been working on the Purpose Driven Community for the past weeks. Let me just say that this has been an exercise in persistence for Doug and I. I first insisted on going because the only way you really get to know your church body is through interaction and the small group is the best way to do that! Doug has had no problem connecting with the men. (They asked him to speak one Sunday morning on small groups and now to be in a skit.) He is a natural born leader and was annointed by Ed Cole (an author, teacher, speaker and former pastor) for men's ministry many years ago. Those men love Doug. Most of them need strong male role models. We're talking a youthful church with men of cultures that we are not used to, into the hip/hop speech and music.....but underneath all that don't you know WE ARE ALL THE SAME!

Anyway, Alyssa doesn't seem to have any problems fitting in. She has always made friends easily, never judging by dress or color or any of the superficial. Besides, she often takes friends with her. I am the problem here. I have, quite honestly, felt all alone in the group. Even though I can accept people who are different than me, I haven't found anyone I "clicked" with. Let me describe my group a little so you can visualize......First of all, we are a group of about 18 to 20 women of all ages but mostly younger than me. That's okay because I love youth. I also admire and respect older, wiser women. In short, I have always had friends of varying ages! Besides, to me, age is irrelevant or it should be...We have split into two smaller groups. As I mentioned, we're doing the Purpose Driven Community and part of that is learning to love one another in the body of Christ and to function TOGETHER so we can reach out to others OUTSIDE of the church. Pretty basic stuff I know, but much needed in the Christian church today. By the way, I have never gone to a church more accepting of people than Crossover. It is truly a
Christ centered church who DOES the Word of God not just talks about it.....

But back to the group--women are less trusting. Aren't they? Everyone has been hurt and letting someone in is not always easy but necessary..The past groups in the summer were our first small group experience and I threatened to quit more than once because I felt like I didn't belong. This time around I am starting to get to know the other women a little. How? By sharing our prayer requests and yes, our pain. It takes trust in Christ to do that, to put yourself "out there". But, you know what? When you have Jesus in common, you have everything in common! I am beginning to speak up more and to share. I still haven't found that special "friend" but I'm beginning to connect and relationships are starting to form!

This past Tuesday was our last small group meeting until after the holidays. One of the women I have gotten to know is Josie, the worship leader. Now I know why she is in that position! She has such a heart for God and for people! I just love her....I have also gotten to know Christian. When I first came to the group, I didn't like her. She is loud, brash and says whatever she thinks! I felt like she drew a lot of attention to herself, like the class clown. But she cracks us up and she too has such a loving heart! She unlike many people is transparent --that's what I like about her. She speaks the truth even if it's unflattering to her! I , a hugger, asked permission to hug her once. I did that because she said she doesn't like certain people hugging her. Last night after a volunteer meeting at church, SHE came up and hugged ME! God is working in her in such a powerful way....She pointed to me and a couple of other women the other night and said she had a lot to learn from us "older" women,,,,, I've also grown to respect Black Jackie (I only say that because that's what she calls herself seeing as we have 3 or 4 Jackies in our church!) She is a teacher by profession, more introverted but caring as well and a good leader. Jessie is in the other group that we split from but was paired with us for the recent outreach. She had a recent cancer scare and surgery for a non-cancerous lump. Jessie, like many of the women in our church, is married to a hip hop artist. She inspired me with her faith and desire for holiness.....And of course, there's Lynette. She is my daughter's boyfriend's mother. Originally from Ohio, she and her family started coming to our church after we invited them. Lynette had been deeply hurt at her home church. She's a red head in a sea of black and hispanic people! Lynette is sweet and giving. I look forward to getting to know her better..... Denise and her husband Ernie are the ones we ran into at Wal-Mart late on night after Christmas last year and told us about Crossover. Their enthusiasm was overflowing. If you knew Denise and Ernie, they don't do anything half way. If they love something, they emote. Anyway, Denise is--unconventional. Traditional churches rejected her (or at least she felt that way....) because she didn't fit their "norm". Her background was one of abuse and shame. This church accepted her (her words) and allowed her and her husband to be used for the Lord's service. There's also Cynthia who is quiet, Lully (Loo-lee) from Puerto Rico who makes great flan! and Coryn (like Corrine) who is new and has Jesus is Lord tatooed on one shoulder......

I'm learning so much from being a part of the small group, from sharing with these women. We all want to serve God. We all want the best for our families...We all have sorrows and joys to share......We are different and so much alike!

That brings me to our Pastors, Tommy and Lucy. They are real, warm, accessible and unafraid to let others use their God-given talents for the common good. When we have a work day, they are right there pitching in. We also have Tone, Tommy's boyhood friend from Philly who recently came on staff as asociate Pastor. Is Tommy threatened by sharing the pulpit (which is a spray can replica, by the way)? No way. They are two distinct personalities blended into a beautiful alliance.....

A couple of weeks ago we met at the church to pray together and then we split up. The men distributed bottled water, cds and literature at a park and the women gave out Christian rap CD's, that Josie mixed (is that the correct term?) with different hip/hop artists from our own church at the local mall. That was definitely a stretch for me. I didn't have Doug beside me (he's the one with the Holy Ghost boldness!) and I didn't exactly have this great evangelistic thrust,,,but I did it, I gave them out to total strangers. It's a beginning.....

Now we are looking forward to Fla.vor.Fest (.com-- you can look it up) the first weekend in November. It's Doug's and my first. Fla.vor Fest is a concert with rap artists from all over and workshops to teach others how to relate to and reach the urban culture. The website explains it a lot better....it's our church's sixth concert or year (not sure because we have them twice a year.) People from as far away as Japan and Great Britain, and even Africa come to our little dinky church. I'm told that we cram up to 1000 people (standing room only and outside as well) into this event....Doug and I volunteered for a shift as parking directors. Yes, in addition to tee shirts, we get walkie talkies, flash lights and orange vests! It may not be our type of music but we all have the same goal--to glorify Christ and to reach out to others that just might not fit in anywhere else.....and that's no small thing....